Ngikhumbula ngesikhathi ngiqala ukukubona, kwakungobunye ubusuku eminyakeni emithathu edlule.Ubulindile, futhi ngathatha izithelo
nokudla okulula ukukubona.Lapho siqala ukuhlangana nami kuyi-Internet, kwakunokwehluka okuthile.Zizwe ukhululekile.Kubonakala sengathi
ngibe ngowokuqala ukwazi iqiniso, kodwa kunginikeze umuzwa ophansi kakhulu.Ungene ebuthweni ukuze ukhonze
izwe eneminyaka engu-17 futhi wakhetha umsebenzi omkhulu wokucisha umlilo.Lo nyaka wunyaka wesi-7 wokubamba iqhaza komkhulu
umsebenzi wokucisha umlilo.Khumbula lokho owangitshela khona: lapho ungena empini, wabhalela uyihlo incwadi, futhi yathi:
"Ngiqale ukucisha umlilo namuhla ngaba yisicishamlilo impela, ngikhona niphile kahle mama nobaba ninjani
wenzani?Ungikhumbule kakhulu, ngikukhumbule kakhulu, kumele uzimisele ngokudla, ungagcini, ngizokwenza imali
kwakho."Uneminyaka engu-17 usho la mazwi, Iphupho lakho wukuba yisicishi-mlilo esiqeqeshiwe, futhi manje, uhola
ukuqeqeshwa nsuku zonke eqenjini, futhi wenze ezinye impumelelo.
Okulandelayo, ngifuna ukusebenzisa isikhathi njengendawo yokuxoxa indaba yethu.
Ngonyaka wokuqala sindawonye, ngisenza unyaka wesithathu, ngangimncane, futhi wawulokhu ungitshela ukuthi angizange.
ngiyakwethembisa ngoba ubungeyena umuntu wami olungile.Inyanga eyodwa nengxenye ezayo, uzoxoxa nami
nsuku zonke, futhi uzokhuluma nami ngokuqeqeshwa kwakho kwansuku zonke, ukudla, impilo, kanye nokuziphatha kwakho.Ngikhumbula ngiqala
waqala, wawuvame ukukhala izinyembezi ngenxa yalokho engikushilo.Wathi akekho owake wakutshela lokhu
ngoba wawungakaze uqome.Yebo, nathi sixabana nsuku zonke, intukuthelo yami imbi kakhulu, ngivame
akucele ukuthi uhambe namagama angenanhliziyo, futhi uphakamise ukuthi nihlukane nawe.Kodwa awuzange ucabange ngakho
ukudela ngaso sonke isikhathi, kodwa ubungamukela kakhulu.
Unyaka wethu wesibili sindawonye, kodwa lapho ngisonyakeni wami omkhulu, ngase ngizobhekana nenkinga yokuqashwa, futhi
ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngiphinde ngabhekana nenkinga yokuthi abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi inkathi yokuthweswa iziqu yisikhathi sokuhlukaniswa.I
angazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, mhlawumbe angikaze ngifune ukuhamba, ngakho angizange ngibe nalowo mcabango.Ngikhethe ukusebenza eduze kwakho
ekhaya, kodwa leso sinqumo sacishe sacekela phansi ukuphila kwami.Umndeni wakho ngamunye "unezipesheli" zawo futhi yebo, angithandi
bona.Kwaze kwanciphisa impilo yami, ngalesi sikhathi, saqala ukuxabana njalo, ucabanga ukuthi umndeni wakho awukho
iphutha, yimina.Wenza konke okusemandleni akho ukugcina, ungenza ngizizwe sengathi ukukhetha kwami akulungile.
Unyaka wethu wesithathu sindawonye, kanti eminye yawo yayingenxa yemisebenzi yasekhaya kanye nezingxabano.Lokho kungenxa yakho
abazali, ngasuka ngokuzimisela eFuzhou futhi ngakhetha ukuza eXiamen.
Phakathi nale minyaka emithathu, kukhona nezinto ezinhle.Ake sikhulume ngezinto ezinhle kuqala: unenyanga eyodwa
eholidini ngonyaka, uzongikhipha ukuze ngidle, ngiyothenga, futhi wenze isikhathi sokuya e-Xiamen futhi
GuLangyu.Iminyaka emithathu yasishiya nezithombe eziningi kakhulu.Uma ngimatasa, uzophelezela abazali bami baye ePingtan
ukubona ulwandle, udle ukudla okumnandi futhi uphuze itiye lobisi.Ngithanda i-durian, uzongithengela yona, hhayi lokhu kuphela, kodwa futhi
noma yini oyifunayo.Wathi ngeke ungivumele ngimonele muntu, kodwa awuzange ukwenze, ngisamona abanye: Ngihalela abanye.
mantombazane, ngingadla nesoka lami, ngingakwazi ukuyothenga nesoka lami, ngingahamba nesoka lami, futhi
Kukhona ukulahlekelwa okuningi kakhulu, kodwa uhlale uthi: Ngiyindodana yaseShayina kuqala, futhi ekugcineni isoka lakho.Unayo a
umthwalo osindayo emahlombe akho futhi wendlala ikhaya lakho kuwo wonke umuntu.
Nansi incwadi engiya kuwe:
Kuwe sithandwa:Umoya wasehlobo umnyama.Iqabunga Lomtholo Elilodwa, Ukudonsa Kweqabunga Elilodwa.
isikhathi siyahamba,
Sekuphele iminyaka emithathu ngahlangana nawe.cabanga ngakho,
Izigcawu ezidlule zifana ne-flashbacks ngokucacile.
Nakuba sihlukene,
Izinkulungwane zamamayela ngokuhlukana
Kodwa ngenhlanhla abazange baphele amandla.ngiyabonga ngokuhlangana
Siyabonga ngokuba nawe endleleni.
umhlangano wokuqala, esangweni lomlindi,
Lalicwebile izulu ngalelo langa.
Ngifuna isibalo sakho esixukwini
Kodwa lapho ngithatha isandla sakho.kuze kube namuhla
Ngemva kokuqala kwesikole,
UseQuanzhou, mina ngiseFuzhou,
ufuna ukungibona,
Kodwa ukucela ilivu "kungumsebenzi onzima".
Lapho ubambe isiliphu sekhefu kumholi wethimba ukuze abike isimo,
Kudingeka ukuhleleka nokucacile, kodwa futhi ukucindezela isasasa ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yami.
Lapho inani lezindawo zokuphuma seligcwele, ngizobe ngisemsebenzini namuhla ukuze ngilungele ukulwa...
Ukuthatha ikhefu emsebenzini kungase kube “nzima”
Imihlangano ingaphendulwa kuphela "iphalishi lefoni".
"Ukhona? Wenzani kulempelasonto?"
"Isivivinyo sokuqina komzimba, ngizolungela ukugijima amakhilomitha amahlanu kamuva."
"Kuzothatha isikhathi esingakanani ukubuya?...Hhe? Uphi umuntu?"
Ngokuvamile ngiyaziqeqesha futhi wena ulindile.
uthi kulungile.
Ngiyakuqonda ukuswelakala kwamagama.
Uyamamatheka bese uthi:
“Kuthiwa amasosha anikelwa kuhulumeni,
Angikwazi ukubamba isoka ezweni."
Angikwazi ukukuphelezela ngaso sonke isikhathi,
Ngingakwazi ukuthumela imicabango yami enyangeni kuphela
Kwangathi singahlala ndawonye izinkulungwane zamakhilomitha esikhathini esithile esidlule.
Ngidangele ngenxa yezinto ezingasho lutho,
Nizoza ukuzongibona ukude nisazi.
Ngiyise esitolo sezitsha zobumba.
Kuthiwa izitsha zobumba ziyakwazi ukuhlakulela umzimba womuntu futhi zithuthukise ingqondo yakhe.
Lapho ubambe udaka ngesandla wenze kwenzeke.
Ngavele ngazithanda izinto zobumba.
Ukuzinza, kuqondile, kufanele kube yizinto ezibalulekile zeminyakazo onginike yona.
uthi: "I-Bouldering ukulawula ingqondo namandla.
Le nqubo idinga ukuthula nokubekezela.
Ungasheshi kakhulu."
Ngabona ukuthi isitsha ngemva kokuphuma kuhhavini sasiqinile, sicwebile futhi sinezinhlangothi ezintathu.
Nginokumomotheka okujabulisayo kwengake ngaba nakho.
Kunzima ukubonana, kunzima ukuhlukana.
isikhathi siyandiza, Sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana.
Kuthatha izinsuku ukuthi abanye bahlangane.
Futhi sihlangana eminyakeni,
Siyabonga ukuphikelela kwakho.
ngisho nemizwa yakho emincane,
kungenza ngizizwe ngijabule, ibanga elide.
Kodwa kunemicabango efuna ukukutshela.
Konke ukucwayiza kwamehlo akho kwenza inhliziyo yami yeqe ukushaya.
Yonke imigwaqo oyihambayo igcwele izimbali.
ngicela ungivumele ngibambe isandla sakho, ngihambe isikhathi eside.
Lena impendulo yakho:
Uju:
Ulele?
Imvula yasehlobo ngaphandle kwefasitela.
Ngiyajikijela futhi ngiyajika, kodwa angilali, noma ngiyakweleta, noma ngikhathazeke.
Angazi kungani, ngikhumbula wena kungazelelwe.
Ngifuna ukukutshela okuningi, lets say.
Ngiyisigaxa se-elm, kodwa angikwazi ukusho, inyanga igcwele futhi inyanga ayikho.
ukuvalelisa njengayizolo.
Sizohlangana nini?
Singakanani ngokuzayo?
isithembiso esilula asikwazi ukugcwaliseka kalula.
Ngoba nje ngiyisicishamlilo.
I-Fire blue inginike umgomo.
Abantu bangipha ukudla.
phambi kwawo wonke umuntu, ngingakhetha kuphela umthwalo wemfanelo nomsebenzi
Ngiyakuthanda!
Isikhathi sokuthumela: Jul-11-2022